Is it just me...?

Why do I feel with certain family members or friends that I am always going out of my way to be considerate to them and they always let me down when I need them.
With certain friends, I feel like I am the better friend to them than they are to me. I always find myself having to send the first text or make the first phone call. Even send a card...Friendship is about sharing;  Sharing opinions, dreams, fears, hopes... It is meant to engage conversations. We are supposed to cherish our memories but of course make new ones along the way. We should have a mutual understanding of how much love we have for one another and how much we care.
"Friendships don't magically last 40 years...you have to invest in them."  (S&TC, S5E3)
Then when it comes to some family members, I literally have no words at times. It's like, do they not hear the words that come out of their mouths?? We should respect each other and share joys. We shouldn't hope for love and support, it should already be there. Above anyone else, family should be number one. Actions do speak louder than words, yet when we do not think about what we are saying, those words can cut deeper than a global chef knife. That's how it's been with me, my family always comes first. I have some friends I consider family so they follow a super-close second.
"Family means putting your arms around each other and being there." (Barbara Bush)
I am trying to live my life well. I am trying to teach my child to be a good, caring person. But then there's instances that occur where sometimes I just think, "Why bother?"

Anything Like Me...

I could listen to this song over and over. :) This is definitely our song to C.J. <3

¶ I remember sayin' I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy, I'm okay
And then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said, "You see that thing right there? Well, you know what that means"♫


♪ I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if he's anything like me ♪

♪ He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike too fast
End up every summer wearin' something in a cast
He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass
In a window down the street ♪

♫ He's gonna get in trouble, oh, he's gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback
If he's anything like me ♫

♪ I can see him right now, knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass tryin' to melt a Tonka truck
Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on?
That'll be his first love 'til his first love comes along ♪

♪ He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens
And heaven help him if he's anything like me ♪

♪ He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast
Get a speeding ticket, he'll pay for mowing grass
He's gonna get caught skippin' class
And be grounded for a week ♪

♫ He's gonna get into trouble, we're gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback
If he's anything like me ♫

♪ He's gonna love me
And hate me along the way
The years are gonna fly by
And I already dread the day ♪

♪ He's gonna hug his mama, he's gonna shake my hand
He's gonna act like he can't wait to leave ♪

♪  But as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out
If he's anything like me
There's worst folks to be like, oh, he'll be alright
If he's anything like me ¶

Tía to the 10th Power

Baby Mendoza

My new nephew, Yandel Pedro Mendoza made his much anticipated appearance on February 2, 2012 at 6:22 am. He weighed 8lbs. 5oz. and was 21 inches in length. We are all so excited for the new family! This little bundle is another wonderful addition to the Mendoza family. Our new little prince, (3rd officially) 4th unofficially. He is absolutely gorgeous and I cannot wait to hold him! I am so happy for my brother-in-law, Pete and my sister-in-law, Holly. Truly another wonderful blessing!

Here we go again...

So I just got back from dropping Erick off at the airport...he is on his way to Japan for 91 days. He asked me to be strong - right now I'm a total mess. C.J. has already asked for him three times since we've been home.
I hate these days...I was hoping for a change this year but yet here we go again, starting off this year exactly like last.
I understand this is his job and he loves it and I am super supportive of that. I want him to be doing something he truly loves and enjoys. I am just tired of this. I am tired of all this back-and-forth crap, I am tired of having to try and keep it together for C.J. who asks for him everyday and wants to know, "Where's Daddy?"
I am sure it is just as difficult for Erick to be away - it's just an adjustment for us constantly. We have to deal with him being gone and he has to deal with being away from us. Difficult times right now.
91 days...Seems like a life time.
I know we will get through this as we have every other time, still doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't be bummed about our circumstances.
You would think it would get easier each time he has to be gone, but it's not. Seems just as trying as the very first time I saw him off to Italy.
All I can really say is thank God for Skype! If it wasn't for this wonderful little contraption, we would not get to speak or "see" eachother face-to-face on a daily basis. C.J. knows he can use this now and even tells me, "I'll get the microphone Mommy." :) Sweet boy.  And of course he will ask when he can talk to his Daddy too.
Be strong...we'll get through this

I AM that person!

I realized something about myself a couple of days ago... I AM that person!
I will get upset and cut people out when they are cruel to people I know and love. Very cliché, I know... But I am going to pick a side, especially if you are someone I have met through a friend or family member.
When instances like these occur you can truly find who your true friends are and who are the most important people in your life.
It made me think of a Will & Grace episode where Jack McFarland says, "I know you're new here, and, um, we don't want you to think we're really cliquey and don't let anyone in our little group, but, um, well, we're really cliquey and we don't want anyone in our little group."
This by far is not true of me. I've learned to be accepting of new people over the years. I want to meet new people and share in their lives and experiences. In fact, I welcome it.
What I do not appreciate is when they display petti- / spiteful- ness to those dear to me.
I AM that person - in when you are mean to them, I will not be mean to you but I no longer have the need or the desire to speak or communicate with said person.
I made my decision years ago to cut all filth and negativity from my life. And if this includes certain people as well - so be it.
It actually makes me laugh to think about this.
I do not hate nor do I hold grudges. I just know when it is time to let people go. You wish them well, hope they find what they are looking for, and know that they are no longer your concern. The End.

Scary Times

What is wrong with the world and the people in it???
It is scary to read the paper or Internet and watching the news channels are just depressing to have to listen to all the immoral acts that are done. I am awed by the crimes that people commit. It's a wonder that we don't just lock ourselves up in our homes and never come out.

I currently live in Houston and to me this is one of the scariest places to be. I am astounded by the crime rate here! Everyday I hear of so many awful things that I am persuaded more and more each day to move. There are many other cities worse than it; Houston didn't even make Forbes' Top 10 of America's Most Dangerous Cities in October. But I don’t live anywhere else, I live here. Unfortunately, I already had a little scare not too long ago:

I headed home, with my son mind you, at around 11 pm at night after being at a friends house celebrating our early Christmas. As I came around the parking lot into my condo, I saw a guy in a gray hoodie crossing the parking lot. I watched as he stopped on the sidewalk next to one of the buildings and then just stared at my car as I passed by. I could see him the entire time as I turned the corner towards my place. When I got to my parking spot, I turned off my car but I felt uneasy so I waited in the car. Then I see the guy come around the corner and just stand there. I don't know if he was waiting for me to get out or what. Then a couple minutes pass and he starts walking toward me, so I turned on my car and drove off.
I called the cops and told them what happened. I told them I didn't want to get out of my car because I had a toddler with me. I waited up front by our office and a cop arrived like 5 minutes later. He drove around and then I drove back to my building and waited for him to come around again before I got down. It was a very freaky situation for me! I ended up calling up my friends to let them know and they came back for me and my son to take us back to their home.

Going through this type of situation, made me go out and buy a can of mace to carry with me at all times. I'm also thinking about a tazer or something. Because you just never know…

One city I am surprised to hear about when crime is announced is my hometown of Brownsville, TX. And yet lately it seems to be in world news more than we would like. This year has already started off really crappy for them.

Just a couple of days ago a 15 year old boy showed up to his middle school with what turned out to be a pellet gun. Only thing was it looked very much like a semi-automatic and after many requests by the police officers to, “drop his weapon,” the teenager was shot and killed.
Cummings Middle School Shooting

Now, I am reading some news and there was a shooting at the local mall after a fender-bender.
Sunrise Mall Shooting

I just don’t get it!!

I’m not sure what the child was thinking or why he didn't drop the gun when he was asked but with the men in the accident, if you call yourself a “man” then fight like one. Why must everyone resort to gun slinging?? When did we draw back to the Wild West???

It is insane already with the events that are going on in Mexican border towns with daily shootings, massacres, robberies all having to do with the Cartel but what makes it even worse is that these things are moving into the states as well…And I am sorry to say that, but that is honestly how I think of it.

These are not the only two incidents that have occurred in my hometown, there have been many others in the years past. I actually witnessed a crime when I was very young which is the reason behind my hating guns. It is just surprising that as years progress, it becomes more and more dangerous.

All I think about now is my son and the kind of world he is growing up in. It is amazing how your train of thought and way of living can change tremendously after you've had a child. All I can think about is his well-being.
I know I cannot live my life in worry so even through all the sadness and madness, I move forward - otherwise what is the point of living.

The Best of 2011

Another year gone...Another year beginning.
So many great events and some, not so much.

2011 started with my husband being gone just shortly after the New Year - He was sent to Italy for 3 months. This past year was not as difficult to endure as the months before that had been; I made myself stronger for our child. Erick traveled so much I think we saw him a total of 2 months the entire year. I am praying for a change this year.

I was accepted by the Page Parkes Agency in January as well - something I have been extremely excited about and working at everything and anything to move forward.

C.J. and I in Austin, November 2011

I got to see more of my older brother Jesse and his family this year - that was something special. (They met C.J. for the first time in 2010 and I wanted them to know each other more.) They have all since quickly bonded.

I found C.J. and myself a place of our own in June which turned out to be the very best move for us. It is our own space, all we could ask for. Of course it still is only temporary but so far was worth it.

I finished my externship and school in July and received my degree in Medical Office Management in August. Big milestone for me!! I am taking some time off for now but waiting on our next move because I do plan to return to school. I was advised that I need more labs if I do plan to apply to medical school sometime in the future. (Something I have been considering for a while now.)

I was able to return to being a stay-at-home Mom in August after the bank I was working for, closed. It has been wonderful! I missed our time spent together those 8 months. :) I am so thankful and lucky to be able to continue my job at just being a full-time Mother. We keep ourselves busy with board games, cars, and Play-Doh but of course we practice our letters, numbers, and languages in between as well. And for our lay-low days we always have Friends and "Sheldon" (The Big Bang Theory).

I've been practicing learning to speak Italian, I continue to do so. Erick got me the Rosetta Stone early in January and now I have the basics down and can make a few sentences. My Italian is slightly conversational right now, not intermediate and nowhere near fluent. :) But I will continue to work at it. When I speak with my friends Mino and Valentina, (both from Italy) I try to speak with them only in Italian as I know this will help me more. They are also super supportive and help me out as much as possible too. I am also set on learning American Sign Language as well. I know about 20 signs right now, (not including the alphabet) but really want to expand this as well. I want to teach C.J. everything I learn as well - I know this will greatly benefit him later.

I started a great new workout this year as well with my bank buddy, Jessica N., The Firm Express. Running alone just wasn't cutting it anymore. We've really enjoyed it and saw results after about a month. We continue to keep up with it, whenever we are not traveling, and hope to meet our goals this year. Right Jess?? ;)

When September came around we were able to make another trip to Pennsylvania to visit with the Sutliff's. <3 Always something special for us. We got to see Ellie turn 4! And although Erick was not able to join us this time, which Brad was very disappointed by, we hope to make another trip soon with everyone.

As you know, I celebrated my 30th birthday this year and C.J. had his 3rd. I wasn't able to celebrate exactly how I wanted to but I'm hoping I can make up for it if I can celebrate with my friend Jessica B. who will turn 30 in February. (She wants to take a trip and I am totally up for it.)

New Year's Eve 2011

The holidays were very busy for us starting with Thanksgiving. We were excited to spend them in Brownsville with our families. Christmas and New Year's Eve were so much fun! What a blessing to have the entire Mendoza family together, with the exception of one. I also got to spend some much needed quality time with my sister, Leslie and her family. But most importantly, my little family was together. Erick returned from Japan on December 23rd - just in time for Christmas.


I cannot really say this year "flew by" but yet it is gone.
A few things for 2012: I'm hoping for change; Praying our families continue to move forward; I'm excited to meet my nephew Yandel next month; I hope to travel more; I want to see my friends - far and near; I want my husbands job to settle; C.J. continues to grow strong and healthy; Return to school. Maybe, just maybe, if things do settle, talk about expanding our family. ;) We shall see.

Happy New Year everyone!! Many blessings for a prosperous 2012!!